what's in a name? finding your true identity
A question that goes deeper than you might think
The Song of My Name
What is your name?
It's a simple question, but the answer carries more weight than we often realize. My name is Aubrey—a name that came from a character in a book and a song by the 1970s band Bread. Each summer when I'd arrive at my grandparents' house in the blazing Texas heat, my sweet Papa would announce my entrance by playing "Aubrey" on his record player, swaying back and forth while serenading me through the door.
I can still picture him in red suspenders and starched blue jeans, standing by that record player with giddy anticipation, waiting for the perfect moment to drop the needle. It felt like a twofold miracle—that my name was actually in a song, and that someone I adored knew every word. In that tenor refrain, I heard something profound: I was welcomed, I belonged, I was not only loved but cherished.
I still play that song on my own record player every time I miss him.
The Power of Names
Depending on your research, "Aubrey" means "elf leader" or "rules with wisdom." As a young girl, I used to play under our weeping willow, pretending I was the long-lost ruler of a hidden tribe of magical elven folk. My understanding of my name expanded my imagination of myself and helped me envision my place in the world.
Our names can inspire us, giving us permission to be ourselves.
In the ancient world, a person's name was synonymous with their reputation. Today, our names still hold power—they can be badges of honor or badges of heartache. Perhaps you were named by doting parents who pored over baby books. Maybe you inherited a family name, something strong and rooted in deep meaning. Our names have the potential to help us know who we belong to and that we belong somewhere at all.
But we also know this isn't true for everyone. Some carry traumatic name stories—pain because family rejected them, names that are vestiges of unknown parents, or names changed due to painful circumstances. Our names are complex, and they're not limited to what we're given at birth.
The Names We Carry
We name ourselves in countless ways: by our jobs, marital statuses, roles, cultural contexts, Enneagram numbers, strengths, talents, spiritual gifts. These are wonderful characteristics, but they're only part of the complex tapestry of who we are. They're not the whole of us.
Many of us also carry painful, damaging names—harmful nicknames and false labels about who we are, lies about our worth and place in the world. Some loom larger than we want them to; others exist as fading marks, barely visible scars that still remind us of old wounds and difficult stories.
If you're wearing a name that's been spoken over you, or one you've held onto for reasons you don't understand anymore—what if it's time to leave that name behind?
The God Who Names
At the end of the day, only God has the power to name every part of you. His names for you speak the definitive truth over all the other ways you name yourself or have been named.
What if, in place of the negative names in your story, God wants to speak a new name, a better name, a healing name, a loving name, a freeing name over you? And what if he already has?
Scripture tells us something astonishing about where our names reside:
God has called you by name (Isaiah 43:1)
Your name is engraved on God's hand (Isaiah 49:16)
Your name is written in God's book of life (Luke 10:20)
Your name exists in three remarkable places: on the lips of God, in the hand of God, and poured forth from the pen of God onto his pages.
An Invitation
I want to invite you into something profound. Take your birth name, its origins, and all the good ways you name yourself—all the grace-filled and powerful memories—in one hand. Then, carefully and tenderly, take the false or negative names you've been called or lived under in the other.
Together, let's open our hands and present them all before God.
God, we are laying our names—both true and false—before you without judgment. What is your invitation? What new name might you want to speak over us? What names do you want us to let go of forever? We want to hear our true names from you, oh God, our Namer.
The question isn't just "What is your name?" but "Where is your name?"
No matter how false names may have tried to own you, you belong to the One who has named you—the One who has sung the song of your name across time, space, and history.
Listen to his voice, and live.
Reflection Questions for You
What's the story behind your name? What feelings does it evoke?
What are some of the ways you currently name or define yourself (roles, achievements, relationships, etc.)?
Are there any false or negative names you've been carrying? What would it look like to lay those down?
How does it feel to know that your name is on God's lips, in God's hand, and written in God's book?
In what ways has your understanding of your name shaped your sense of belonging and identity?
What "new name" do you sense God might want to speak over you in this season?
How might knowing your true name in God change the way you treat yourself and others?
How can we create spaces where people feel safe to share their name stories—both beautiful and painful?
What does it mean for a community to help people discover and live into their God-given names?
How does understanding our sacred namedness affect how we reflect God in the world?
This article is adapted from Known: How Believing Who God Says You Are Changes Everything © [2022, NavPress] by Aubrey Sampson. Used by permission. You can purchase the book here or wherever books are sold.